As a Los Angeles divorce attorney whose practice emphasizes Borderline Personality Disorder, I am frequently asked why is identifying Borderline Personality Disorder so important in divorce and custody cases? Inevitably, this question is posed by someone unfamiliar with Borderlines for if they had ever been in an interpersonal relationship with a Borderline, they would have no need to ask the question. This is not an easy question to answer for the uninitiated within the limits of a blog.
In a word, courts do not care if a parent is afflicted with an otherwise debilitating physical, mental, emotional or psychological condition as long as the condition does not adversely affect that parent's ability to parent. For example, some alcoholics do not drink when they are around their children. In my experience, this self-control is exitsts in many psychological and emotional conditions. Unfortunately, this is not true of most Borderlines for reasons too involved to get into here.
Keeping in mind I see only divorcing couples, in my experience moderately-severe to servere Borderline parents are, essentially, "anti-parents". Their parenting destroys the children they love. Borderlines are ofterntimes models of poor parenting and the results manifest in their children. (Note: I do not mean to include in this damning statement Borderline parents to are actively and successfully seeking professional help to overcome negative parenting patterns and who, therefore, are most likely not divorcing.) Research shows that Borderlines beget Borderline children or children with Attention Deficit Disorder. The reasons for this are debatable, but the statistics bear witness to the reality of the effect.
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